| Back from the abyss |
[27 May 2004|03:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 numb |
] |
The Reason by Hoobastank
i'm not a perfect person, there are many things i wish i didn't do
but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know
i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i'm sorry that i hurt, its something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through, i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches your tears, thats why i need you to hear
i'm not a perfect person, i never meant to do those things to you
and so i hate to say before i go, that i just want you to know
i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that i do, and that reason is you
|
|
|
[23 Jan 2004|07:39am] |
|
I wish people would leave me alone. I'M TRYING! Alright? I get it, nobody likes it, SHUT UP ALREADY. Stop replying, stop PMing me, stop bothering me about it!
|
|
|
[29 Dec 2003|01:31am] |
Alright. After a LOT of thought and inner debate I have come to a decision...a hard decision...
My website is now located at www.human-supernova.com it's the same thing as it ever was, just with a cooler address. Fun eh?
I know, I suck
|
|
|
[24 Dec 2003|02:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
Okay...right then. Well on Saturday night Bruce and I were sitting out in the living room when my sister decided to roll her butt home, then about five minutes later my mom andmy sister came out and were leaving. So I asked where they were going, and mom just said they were gonna go check on someone and left. So we just figure dit was one of Rachael's scumbag friends. Like four hours later my parents got home with my uncle Aaron who looked like shit. Found out he had drank a fifth of vodka, four bottles of Mike's Hard lemonade and seven sleeping pills. So that was an interesting night. My dad made him eat this quesadilla with a ton of green chile on it hahahaha and all this kool aid, till he passed out. So then I had to stay up forever with Aaron's son because that little brat just would not go to sleep.
The on Sunday we all had to go to Macroni Grill for my sister's birthday. She's 17 now. Haha. Oh well. That was an experience. Every chair I sat in someone wanted me to move out of it to a different one. That was relatively uneventful...my parents had had Bruce and I go in my mom's truck, so we decided to go see Return of the King again (since we saw it on opening night anyway), and took Rachael and Aaron with us...and I tell you...it's still a great movie the second time around. Gorgeous and beautiful and well acted and written. It was great. I can't think of a strong enough adjective for how great that movie is. Then we dropped Rachael and Aaron off at my mom's house and went out driving.
First we went to Denny's and got some pie, yum! Then we started driving around and eventually decided to go to Pussycat Video. Which if you can't tell by the name, is a porno shop. Unofficially we were looking for a xxx theatre. Too bad Albuquerque sucks and it's next to impossible. Ugh. So the first place we stopped only had the booths...so we went down the street to another Pussycat which DID have a theatre, but it was closing in like 15 minutes. So we went to Viewpoint, which is a lower class porno deal, they had a theatre, and I kept telling Bruce I wanted to go in, but he was so intent on finding this stupid Hustler Humour that he obviously didn't hear me any of the ten or fifteen times I said I wanted to go. And just decided without asking me that we were done. But he just pissed me off too much. Then we went to Wal Mart and got some pringles and then to the Krispy Kreme to get a dozen donuts. I don't really know what the deal with the Krispy Kremes are...they're just donuts. But whatever.
Okay...that's just about it, really.
Today is Christmas Eve...so maybe I can finally be done with this holiday crap that's stressing me out. I had to go to the mall today to get a key made for me, and holy shit. Those people were all freaking crazy. I mean NUTS. I know it's the day before Christmas and all bt jesus, there's no need to go off your rocker. Same thing at Wal Mart (which is where I had to go to get the key REmade because the one I got at the Mall was messed up and didn't work, and the guy didn't want to recut it. Although I did get a pretty rainbow-y key from Wal Mart, so all is good.
We got my parents a surround sound system like they've been wanting for YEARS and haven't bought, so hopefully they'll like it. We're not doing any of the family stuff for Christmas this year, which is weird. Just my grandma Mayville is coming over for a little while...and that's it. Mark and Laura were really the reason we bothered with the family stuff I think and now that they're gone it's not worth it. My grandma Griego (my dad's mom) was shitty to my mom today when she took the old biddy her flowers. Whatever. I hate that woman. She's made no effort to have anything to do with us for years and she's always treating my family like shit, so she can go to Hell as far as I'm concerned. Her and my aunt wanda.
Hmmm..let's see...
Today while we were atthe mall I told Bruce I wanted to get something engraved with Merideth's name on it, like a box or a ring or something...I was kind of afraid to tell him because I didn't want him to think I was weird, but he seemed receptive to the idea even looked at stuff with me that I could get engraved. I'm probably gonna get a ring or something to wear, but I want something with her name on it finally. I've really been missing her lately. I do have a doctor's appointment on January 6th to see a midwife for my yearly gyn exam and I'm going to ask about me possibly having poly cystic ovarian syndrome. Hpoefully there will be some kind of medication I can be put on to regulate my periods and help with my ovulation other than the Pill...which I don't want to take.
Butyeah...
I think that's about it for now...
Thanks for reading.
|
|
|
[13 Dec 2003|01:00am] |
|
I know I know, long time no update. This is because I'm still adjusting from going from MY computer, with over 250 megs of RAM and a cable connection to AOL and a computer with 30 megs of RAM...god it sucks. Too bad my machine doesn't have a modem in it. Anyway just letting everyone know that Im alive and kickin!
|
|
|
[26 Nov 2003|05:40am] |
Yes I took this test a while back and managed to land in the seventh level of Hell...but since it's making a comebacl, I took it again...I guess my hormones are being unruly today because I moved up five levels. Wow. Although I'm still in the extreme category for the seventh level. And the fifth. All three are very much like me.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
|
|
|
[21 Nov 2003|11:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 infuriated |
] |
I saw the most disgusting "memorial" page today. It truly infuriated me. I will not posthere what it said, except to say these people called their own daughter, a teenage girl a murderer and a killer for having an abortion and posted a poem that basically insinuated that womenwho have abortions are heartless, cruel, uncaring, can never be good mothers, didn't love their babies and other ridiculous crap.
It's disgusting. And this girl actually displayed her site to other people...if MY parents made a site like that, I would be far too HURT to want to show anyone at all. I can't believe she actually wanted people to look at that.
I am infuriated.
Truly.
Those are horrible, horrible people.
|
|
|
[21 Nov 2003|08:12pm] |
The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test
| | Category | Your Score | Average LJer | | Community Attachment | 18.28%
You've got pals to cheer you up when you're down, but no audience to applaud you... Yet. | 22.64% | | MemeSheepage | 19.3%
Only trendy when it's sufficiently entertaining | 28.54% | | Original Content | 59.68%
Using LiveJournal to express a few strong opinions | 38.56% | | Psychodrama Quotient | 34.94%
Would it kill you to smile? CHEER UP! | 17.17% | | Attention Whoring | 18.18%
Slothfully Seeking Susan | 20.66% | |
|
|
|
[20 Nov 2003|05:47am] |
This is going to sound really stupid/petty of me..but I don't care right this second...but I think it's horribly unfair that some women cn have 2, 5, 10, or more pregnancies and just keep rolling but all I want is ONE MORE and I'm having SO much troble getting it. It seems unfair to me. it seems unfair that people who already have children are announcing they just fell pregnant, but every month I wish and hope and pray that I can have just onemore chance...
It just seems unfair.
No offense please to anyone reading this who may have had multiple pregnancies...I'm not saying people who have multiple pregnancies don't deserve them...only saying that it strikes me as unfair that eveyone who wants one can't have one...if that mmakes sense...
|
|
|
[14 Nov 2003|01:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed off |
] |
So my fucking cousin had her damned baby today.
Whoopty doo.
Just what I needed to hear after a long, sleepless night up with my husbands coughing and vomiting, and a long, sleepless day with him at the hospital.
Just fucking beautiful. Made my whole god damned week.
That skank gets to be a mother before I do.
And to top it off one of my other least favourite people (Emilie, for those who know) is pregnant too. Well, isn't that nice.
Oh not to mention Valerie has come out of the woodwork to get back in touch with me and I don't care to hear about HER pregnancy much either.
I don't know why I bother. It's so obviously not going to happen for me. I'm going to be the lonely middle aged woman with no children and a million cats because I just feel in my heart that I'll never be pregnant again.
One person has me scared shitless that I have PCOS, one other person just posted on the site that they can no longer have children because of their abortion and frankly, I'm so tired of trying and being dissapointed, and it's not like my whacked out periods and my husbands low sperm count reallyhelp matters at all. I am probably the least happy person in the world today.
To be honest, I think I deserve a baby more than my dimwit cousin, and that's a large part of why this has upset me so much. I just think I deserve it more than she does.
But I had my chance.
And it's over.
It's all over.
|
|
|
[13 Nov 2003|05:57pm] |
Rock fucking out. I got accepted to Phenominal Women Of The Web. You've probably seen the seal on at least one website SOMEwhere, I'm sure. How cool is that? Pretty cool my friend. Pretty cool. And on my first try too. Some sites have had to resubmit several times to get accepted. I must be cool :)
I'm also pretty sick though. My throat hurts and my head is bugging me...but I'm still not as sick as poor Bruce, he even called into work sick today which I've been telling him to do for a while...but he needs some serious rest. He's been coughing and running a fever all day long. I feel s obad for him *pouts* He just needs to rest though I think. It's a pretty shitty cold though my uncle had it a couple days ago.
Lets see...what else...I feel like I have more to talk about then I can really remember right now...I'm really liking blogger, but I can't wait till I can switch over to Greymatter. I'm also considering seperating this thing into two sections: a diary and a weblog. That way if people give a rats patoot what's going on in my boring lil ife they can read the diary part and if they care to read my commentary on various subjects they can just read that. Maybe I'll do that later when I feel like it.
Grah! I need to talk about more stuff...but I can't think of any.
I just started working on my new layout...fun stuff. Oh and I noticed that my website is getting about ten hits a day now...that makes me happy, I am currently number 7 in the list of results if you search for "lethes" on Google. One day I want to be #1! But search engines index pages by content (which my index page has very little) and page hits...so I'm workin gon that.
Anyhoo. Yeah.
Wow, I'm boring.
Have a nice day.
|
|
|
[10 Nov 2003|04:37pm] |
Ugh. I was feeling shitty already and that BITCH had to respond to my post on the OT board (for those that know ;))
ugh she's just pissed because I deleted her smarmy little post on another board. stupid bitch.
I was really feeling down and I can't believe she had to basically make fun of me now. Now I have a PM from her in my PM box and I don't fucking feel like reading it. I must be PMSing because seriously...I'm so sensitive :(
Fuck it. I just deleted my whole thread. I don't need to deal with that crap.
Someone hold me please?
|
|
|
[10 Nov 2003|08:36am] |
If you had ANY idea how much I love James Dean...
James Dean
you are A rebel, differnt from the crowd, people
like your creative personlity.
What old Movie Star are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
|
[09 Nov 2003|11:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
infuriated |
] |
Oh it makes ME SO MAD when people say PASS doesn't exist. HELLO?!?!?! If it doesn't exist then what have I been feeling for a year and a half? Hmmmm? Riddle me that, youlittle peice of fucking shit!
Don't tell ME PASS doesn't exist because I KNOW it exists and don't tell ME the only people who believe in PASS are pro life because I'm pro choice and don't tell ME there's something else wrong with me if I don't jump for joy because I had an abortion. And don't tell ME that it's been proven it doesn't exist because large numbers of people from pro choice secular groups HAVE ADMITTED THAT IT EXISTS just in VERY SMALL NUMBERS. So what? Schizophrenia only occurs in VERY SMALL NUMBERS too...I don't see anyone telling me that Schizophrenia doesn't exist. Or what about Dissociative Disorder? EVEN SMALLER numbers! Representatives from from the American Psychiatric Associative has testified BEFORE THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES that it exists IN VERY SMALL NUMBERS.
So don't tell ME that it doesn't exist bitch. Just because you can't see the truth that SOME people may have issues with an abortion don't treat me like I'm not hurting just because YOU can't accept the fact that some of us DO have problems after an abortion
Bitch.
|
|
|
[05 Nov 2003|02:45am] |
Okay, what is with people?
I just got some spam mail from a girl I hardly know. But basically there's an organisation trying to make it so public broadcasts of church services have to be remobed from all radio and television. Now seriously, isn't this a little over kill? I mean, I like freedome of religion, and even though I don't watch Christian TV, freedom of religion gives them the right to have it on television if they like. Seriously, if you don't like it, hit the channel button and watch something else, or tune into another radio station.
It's seriously messed up IMO. I didn't realise it was so offenseive to have to change the channel, Heaven forbid!
|
|
| Yech |
[30 Oct 2003|08:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
Yay! lethes.net has a brand new layout! If you have a strong aversion to pink, I suggest you avoid ;) It's been a bane in my ass for days now!
Ugh. On another note my grandmother is coming into town tomarrow. But since that'smy anniversary I'mnot expected to greet her. But I may have to go somewhere since I don't want to be here when a bunch of screaming, hollering, hooligans come round making so much noise I want to hit their mothers. Grrr. Shit I'm so not looking forward to it.
I have some stuff to talk about but I think that's for another entry since I don't really feel like it right now.
On a lighter note I found this dildo at the smut shop last night, it was gorgeous. Pretty red and sparkly and had one of those suction cups on the base. I think that'll be my next sex purchase. I HAVE TO HAVE ONE!
Ahhhhh.
I have a seriou desire to get pissed drunk tonight. Really. And not just because it's my anniversary tomarrow and not just because Bruce and I have the craziest sex when we're drunk, but just because I haven't been drunk in so long. But theother stuff are good reasons too. And a cigarette. I could go for a cigarette right now. But if I smoke one, I'll have the whole pack and if I have the whole pack I'll have a carton and so on and so forth.
Bored. Bored.
Bored.
|
|
|
[30 Oct 2003|09:31am] |
There we are, I jumped on the bandwagon
| My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul |
|---|
| Lethes goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as bar wench. | | atoosagurl gives you 9 light green mint-flavoured nuggets. | | chanted tricks you! You get a dead frog. | | katherineaurora gives you 8 light yellow blueberry-flavoured jelly beans. | | pinkangeluk tricks you! You get an old sock. | | princesa_lissa tricks you! You lose 9 pieces of candy! | | sassy143 gives you 16 brown banana-flavoured gummy bats. | | shebbybaby gives you 17 light green apple-flavoured gummy bats. | | Lethes ends up with 41 pieces of candy, a dead frog, and an old sock. | | Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. |
|
|
| Films |
[28 Oct 2003|08:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
I just watched that Bowling for Columbine movie...it's a fine peice of filmmaking...I reccomend it highly. Unles syou're a gun nut. Then not so much. Michael Moore is a freaking genius! I'd like to give that man a blowjob if I could.
I also rented The Core, which started out crappy and got really good near the middle. Not to mention it has a very good looking cast to it's credit. The computer hacker guy got my boat rowing, but I like guys with big noses.
Also rented Bend it Like Beckham...which wasn't nearly as good as I had hoped. It was amusing, but nothing to write home about or anything. All in all a good way to waste a couple hours.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
lethes's journal
horny